“Eat junk as long as it fits your calorie goals” – LIE

Da faq!

Whoever came up with this must have been smoking eating something really naughty that day.

You’ve been hogging on triple burgers with extra cheese, extra loaded fries, supersize cola, and every other sugary pleasure out there eight times a day. And it tastes daaaaamn good. But, then after a closer look in the mirror, you decide it’s now time to remove that chin monster.

What do you do? The easiest play in the book – eat fewer meals. So you go from eight to five meals a day. And guess what? You’ve been porking for so long that even the slightest difference to your diet shows a muddafuggin massive change.

You lose a few, and scream in your mandatory Facebook post “I lost 50 pounds in 4 weeks just eating icecream.” You become famous, international chain makes you their spokesperson, pornography charges, jail, etc. You know how this goes.

Listen, if you’re inhaling 4000 calories a day, just bringing it down to less than 2000 – even if it’s McD’s all-day everyday , or even a goddamn chocolate milkshake diet – will help shed those kilos faster than your average junkfood buddy (who, by the way, thinks it’s a monumental change by downsizing from an extra-large to a large fries. Spoiler Alert: It’s not.)

So while it’s technically true that you can lose weight by eating cake everyday, it isn’t going to make you a health god. You know why?


Sorry to break it you. 500 calories of cake is NOT equal to 500 calories from a healthy meal – doesn’t matter if it’s vegan, vegetarian, or all-meat.

If losing weight is the end goal, then by all means eat a cupful of gummy bears everyday. But if cholesterol, blood pressure, heart health, diabetes, and living longer are important, you better get some good stuff in you.


Economics 101. The cost of junk is low, but the opportunity cost is super high. Opportunity cost, in a nutshell, is what you’re forsaking , because of your participation in something else.

Here, you’re participating in eating cheap junk food, and therefore forsaking good frickin’ health.

So, while the the dollar value of junk is low, don’t be fooled. The actual cost of junk is your life, which, for most of us, is invaluable.


If health is important to you, and being fiscally conservative even more so, then you will go out of your way to find cheap, delicious healthy food #nothard.

Or you’ll head down to the supermarket, get some fresh ingredients, and make your own #learntocook.

Worst case scenario, at least make intelligent junk food choices.